A Familiar Life
by deathcurse
Summary: AU from after Nanoha's accident.  When Nanoha woke up from her coma, she felt fantastic and everything seemed to be fine-but it was all wrong.  Terribly wrong.  "Fate-chan...What did you do to me?"
1. Chapter 1

A Familiar Life…

Chapter 1

_What happened?_

Nanoha wasn't sure—she was scared. The last thing she remembered was pain, cold pain that made her shudder as she felt her blood pooling out and melting the snow around her.

Where was she? Nanoha felt so strange. She tried to move her hand, and panicked for a moment when she thought that nothing had happened. But then she felt soft sheets under her fingers, and jerkily raised her head to watch her hand brush her covered stomach. She could feel her heartbeat thumping in her ears, oddly echoing as if she was hearing it second-hand from a distance.

Despite feeling oddly out of place, Nanoha felt…fine. Patting at her chest didn't reveal the bulge of bandages, so somehow Nanoha had been healed of the injuries she had gotten on that world with…

"Vita-chan!" Nanoha gasped. Was she alright? What—

"Nanoha!" She became aware of Yuuno holding her other hand, clasping her carefully around the magical sensors attached to her. "Don't move too much yet…you still have to get used to…" His voice wavered. "…to moving again."

"Again…what?" Nanoha's eyes widened and she kicked out, nearly crying with relief when her legs moved. So she wasn't paralyzed… Her foot connected with something hard.

"OW!" Vita sat up from where she had been sleeping on the end of the hospital bed, rubbing her chin where Nanoha had accidentally hit her. "Nanoha, you're finally awake!"

"You're okay, Vita-chan!"

"Nanoha," Yuuno implored, easing her back down onto her pillow, "please, just stay still a little longer until Shamal and I check you over."

"But I feel fine! A little weird, but I'm great!" Nanoha flexed her fingers, still trying to shake that strange feeling that her limbs were only half under her control. "I have to call my family, they must have been worried…and Fate-chan! Everyone…"

"Nanoha," Yuuno spoke so urgently that Nanoha _had _to turn to face him. His green eyes were deeply serious as he told her, "What's the last thing you remember?"

Blinking, Nanoha furrowed her brow. "The…the accident during the mission. I…I think something stabbed me?" Her eyes widened and she grabbed at her chest again. "But I'm not hurt anymore…how long has it been?"

"It's been two weeks," Yuuno replied, although there was an odd note in his voice.

"Only two weeks?" Nanoha gaped. There was no way she could have healed so fast in such a short amount of time… "Did you and Shamal heal me?"

"No, Nanoha-chan," Shamal said as she hurried in and caught that last sentence. She and Yuuno both called up their magic and started scanning her together. "We didn't. Please stay still for a minute while we look you over, okay?"

"What's going on?" Nanoha asked, starting to shake with a combination of annoyance and fear. They were acting so strange around her…the confusion of not knowing made her want to jump out of bed and do _something,_ instead of just lying there. "Can someone please—"

"Nanoha," a soft, velvety voice spoke nearby. Fate caught onto the bedrail by Nanoha's head, leaning on it as she smiled down at the brunette. The blonde looked _terrible_—Fate's red eyes stood out in her white face, and she appeared in danger of keeling over any second. "I'm so happy you're alright…"

Shamal caught Fate under the elbow, holding her weight as Fate sagged into her. "Fate, you should still be in bed!"

"Fate-chan, what happened to you?" Nanoha pushed herself upwards, ignoring Yuuno and Shamal's exclamations. "Did you get hurt too?"

Fate held out a hand, and Nanoha took it, clasping Fate's weak grip tightly. For some reason, the moment they touched Nanoha felt much better, more relaxed and strong. "It's nothing Nanoha…I'm just a little tired."

"Shamal?" Yuuno let his magic sigils die out, glancing at Shamal with a mixture of relief and anguish. "Everything looks fine. It was successful."

"What was successful?" Nanoha asked fearfully, staring at all of them. She didn't like the mixed expressions on their faces… "What did you do to me?"

"Nanoha." Grunting slightly from the effort, Fate leaned over and placed Nanoha's hand on her chest. Immediately Nanoha blushed at the sensation of Fate's soft skin under her palm, trying not to shiver at the contact. Fate was warm, her heartbeat light but steady…and Nanoha gasped. She put her other fingers to the pulse on her throat to double check.

"Fate-chan…our heartbeats match."

An orange blur leapt onto Nanoha's bed, and Arf padded over in her puppy form, sitting by Nanoha's ribs. Her blue eyes blinked sleepily as she laid her furry chin on Nanoha's chest. "Mine too, Nanoha."

Nanoha stared at her, feeling realization swamping through her mind but she tried to hold it back, to deny it…it can't be true. Yuuno helped Fate to sit on a stool beside the bed. Fate looked utterly exhausted, dark circles under her eyes from the strain of using lots of magic to…to sustain…

"Nanoha," Yuuno whispered, knowing that he had to tell her aloud. "You were in a coma for a week. But a week ago…you died."

_No…_

"We…we didn't know what else to do. Then Fate…she saved your life."

Nanoha wanted to cry, to scream…she wanted to make Yuuno stop, but she couldn't…she already knew the truth but he had to say it to her. To make it real.

"Nanoha…Fate made you her familiar."

* * *

_**Author's Note: Okay, before the screaming starts, I just want to go through my reasoning for why this concept doesn't break canon as far as I know:**_

_**Familiars are animals. **_**But humans are just another kind of animal.**

_**So while we haven't seen human familiars in **_**Nanoha-verse**_**, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's not possible. I imagine that there might even be laws in the TSAB that forbid it, since part of a familiar's nature is to be dependent on their master, and possibly to be forcibly loyal/subservient, which could give rise to lots of moral and ethical issues. **_

_**In case it isn't clear, this takes place right after Nanoha's accident, meaning that the main cast are 12 years old. Some of the little details about familiars are made up by me, but overall I'm trying to keep it within canon (in terms of how the magic works, not the storyline. Storyline is entirely AU).**_


	2. Chapter 2

A Familiar Life…

Chapter 2

Nanoha stared at them. Yuuno stared back, while Shamal averted her eyes and Fate lowered her head.

_It can't be true._

"Am I…still _human?_" Nanoha's voice rose with every word, cracking on the last.

Yuuno opened his mouth, but Fate spoke first.

"You're as human as I am."

_And that's not much._ Instantly shame descended on Nanoha, smothering her anger. How could she have thought that? Even though she tried to forget it, the simple fact that the thought had crossed her mind broke Nanoha's heart.

All she said was, "Is any of my—" Nanoha swallowed. "—original body left?"

"W—Fate just added onto your…" Yuuno winced but forced himself to say it. "…original body, accelerating your cell growth to fix up…um…the parts that had…died…"

Fate gave Nanoha a humourless half-smile. "It was a similar spell that my mother had used to create me. But it's all still you."

Nanoha couldn't even look at her. She curled over her lap, shaking. "Please…I can't. I can't be around you right now."

"Alright," Fate said. The blonde sounded unsurprised, her quiet voice not quite able to disguise her sadness.

"Please, can you…go away?"

"I can't," Fate replied ruefully. Nanoha looked up at her then, but Fate turned away, her bangs hiding her blood-shot eyes. "I'm not supposed to leave this room."

"Why?"

Shamal answered for Fate, her face soft with sympathy. "She's under arrest, Nanoha. Due to medical issues, she's here at the hospital, but Fate's not permitted to leave this room."

"Arrested! Why?" Nanoha asked, bewildered.

"For the possible creation of an Artificial Mage, forcing a magical contract upon another sentient being, and necromancy." Fate smiled crookedly, her red eyes shining with an unhealthy light. "The same charges that my mother had." She tugged on Shamal's sleeve. "Can you tell the officer outside that you need to transfer me to another room for a while…please?"

Shamal glanced at Nanoha, then back at Fate. "Alright…wait here."

Nanoha kept her gaze on her lap. Silence hung heavily over them all, with Yuuno nervously shifting in his spot by the bed and giving both of them anxious looks. Fate had taken Arf from Nanoha's lap, and Nanoha didn't stir or acknowledge her.

Thankfully, Shamal returned quickly, pushing a wheelchair with her. She helped Fate into it, then said to Yuuno, "I'll take Fate to do some Linker Core tests." Shamal paused, looking anxiously at Nanoha as if she wanted to say something, but shook her head and quietly left with Fate.

Once the door shut Yuuno sat on the bed, keeping a small distance between them. He probably didn't want to pressure her with his presence, but Nanoha couldn't help but wonder if he just didn't want to get too close to her, because she was now…different.

"Nanoha…go ahead. You can ask me anything." Yuuno bit his lip. "It's only fair for you to know everything."

She stirred, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Tell me what happened after I died." It was getting easier to say that word. Nanoha didn't know how she felt about that.

"You…" Yuuno trembled. "You died. The doctors tried to resuscitate you, but it was…they weren't successful. They pronounced you dead at 04:31, from internal hemorrhage which resulted in complete necrosis of brain tissue." The words came from his mouth as if he was reciting them. Nanoha supposed that Yuuno would never forget those words as they were told to him. Thinking carefully on what he said, Nanoha reiterated,

"My brain died."

"That was the first thing…Fate did, to revive you. She cloned your tissue then re-implanted your memories."

Was that even possible? "Go through everything please," Nanoha said in a small voice. Her stomach churned, but she had to know. She had to know it all. "How did she get me out?" Fate could hardly have done all this illegal work in the middle of a military hospital.

Yuuno got up and began pacing, his steps uneven and jerky. "She didn't. She cast a barrier on your room. Then she…fixed you through the cloning spells. And then she did the familiar spell."

"But _how?_" Nanoha gritted her teeth. How could Fate have cloned her? Didn't that take a lot of time? How did Fate even know those spells? And more than that…how could she have made Nanoha a…a…"I'm not…I'm not an _animal!_ Familiars are animals!" She was shouting by that point. "How did Fate do it!"

"I don't know!" Yuuno yelled back, his eyes wild. Nanoha had never heard him shout before, at _her._ "She did it, then the barrier collapsed, then people came in and saw you…and then they realized…then it all went crazy. They wanted to take her away, but Shamal wouldn't let them, because Fate could have died then you and Arf…" He jerked his arm sharply, stressfully trembling and shouting, "_I don't know what she did!_"

They both fell silent.

Despite her efforts, Nanoha started to cry. She hugged her knees tightly and tried to make herself stop, but the tears just kept coming. "What…what's going to…what's going to happen to me now, Yuuno-kun?"

He came back over, his manner embarrassed and apologetic, probably for his previous outburst. "Lindy-san and Chrono are…working on it." Yuuno hesitantly put an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her back when Nanoha didn't protest. She was too heartsick to push him away, even though the comfort made everything hurt worse. "They'll take care of it."

"You've never lied to me before, Yuuno."

"I'm not."

They sat there together. Her tears dried—Nanoha rarely cried, and when she did she never cried long. But the mess of emotions in her chest didn't abate at all.

"Fate can't…" Nanoha licked her dry lips, looking at Yuuno from the corner of her vision. "…she can't sustain both Arf and me. It's too much for her, to take care of two…" She clenched her jaw and forced the word out. "…_familiars._"

"Fate's strong. She's stronger than me." Yuuno tightened his grip, hugging her firmly. "She can do it."

"She's just ruined everything," Nanoha whispered, feeling threads of anger returning, driving out the scary numbness. "My…our dreams. She's not strong enough…I can't ever use magic again." The thought hurt terribly—after all her hard work, all her hopes and determination…everything had come crashing down. And it hadn't even been by Nanoha's own choices, but by someone else's. "Fate just destroyed _everything_."

Yuuno pulled away, startled at the venom in Nanoha's tone. "Fate risked her life to save you. She gave up everything to do it!"

Nanoha shut her eyes, quivering with emotion. It hurt to say it about a friend, but she knew it wasn't anything but the truth.

"I didn't_ ask her to_."

Yuuno's voice filled with despair…and something else. Guilt. "Nanoha…it was done to save you."

She kept her eyes closed—she didn't need to see his expression. Bitterness made her speak, made her say things she never would have otherwise. But it was all the truth.

"Do I look saved to you?"


	3. Chapter 3

A Familiar Life…

Chapter 3

"Nanoha?"

The girl in question raised her head dully. "Lindy-san?"

Admiral Lindy Harlaown hurried over to Nanoha's bed, smiling with relief. "I heard that you had woken up."

Nanoha tried a smile, and found that it came easier than she had expected. "Thank you for your concern. I'm sorry that I'm…kind of troubling you."

"It's never any trouble, dear." Lindy stroked Nanoha's hair, the motherly gesture making Nanoha want her own mother desperately. As if reading her thoughts, Lindy said, "I'm sorry, but I'm working on getting permission to transport your family here to see you. I've sent a messenger to them though, so they know that you're alive." A pained look entered Lindy's eyes. "I had called them telling them that you had died, you see."

"But I'm not dead now," Nanoha stated. Then she frowned. "Why can't I go see them instead?" She tensed, clenching her fists onto her sheets. "Am I a prisoner here too?"

"No, no!" Lindy patted her hand, but Nanoha wasn't comforted. "Your doctor—Shamal—has recommended against intense travel for you at the moment. It could be detrimental to your health."

"You mean Fate's health," Nanoha said, hearing the tiredness in her own voice. No more anger, just…weariness.

"Yours as well," corrected Lindy. The admiral took a seat on the stool next to Nanoha's bed. "Nanoha, I know that things must be confusing and scary for you right now. If it's alright with you, can I bring in someone who can answer some of your questions? Teach you what you don't know?"

The only person Nanoha wanted to talk to was Fate. But Fate had never returned from her check-up earlier, and when Nanoha had finally asked Shamal what happened to her Shamal had told her that Fate requested to be moved to a different room. Whether Nanoha was glad or upset at the news varied with her mood, and with her ever changing thoughts.

_Why did you do it?_

_ How could you do this to me, Fate?_

_ …What do I mean to you now?_

She realized that Lindy was still patiently waiting for her answer. "Okay," Nanoha said in a small voice.

"Come in," Lindy called out to the hallway.

"Aria-san!" Nanoha said in surprise. The long-haired cat-girl walked over and gave Nanoha a small smile. Although she was no longer a TSAB officer, Aria still wore her old uniform. Three years hadn't made her change a bit—but it was the same thing for Arf, and Hayate's Wolkenritter.

Would that be Nanoha too, in the future?

"Nanoha," Aria said, nodding at her. "Admiral Lindy asked me to come and speak with you about familiars. You haven't been instructed about familiars before, have you?"

"Just a little…when we were learning about Hayate and the Wolkenritter."

"Alright then," Lindy said. "Nanoha, do you want to go for a walk with Aria? It could give you two some privacy."

"Am I allowed?" Nanoha asked, slightly bitter.

"Of course," Aria told her. "You're the victim in this case."

Lindy looked so pained at that, Nanoha wanted to apologize. She shouldn't have to…but seeing Lindy so worried and strained made Nanoha feel all the more guilty and anxious.

"Yes. Let's go, please," Nanoha begged, turning away from Lindy.

After handing her a change of clothes Lindy left to see her daughter, and Aria waited out in the hall while Nanoha struggled with her clothes. It was odd to move, and every time her hands fumbled Nanoha kept remembering Yuuno's words. _Fate had _fixed _her with cloning spells._ Unsteadily, Nanoha staggered to the door and pulled it open.

"Ready?" Aria indicated their direction. "Let's walk."

Nanoha lurched to try and keep up with Aria's steps. She suspected that the cat-girl was doing it on purpose, to force Nanoha to work out her awkwardness. With that in mind, Nanoha pushed herself harder, sweating with the effort. "Aria-san, where's Lotte-san?"

"She's with your family."

Nanoha's eye twitched, and she straightened. Flatly, she said, "To tell my family about me."

"We thought it best if it came from one of us." _Someone who is living the life you now have, _Aria left unsaid. Aria kept her pace, making Nanoha have to stretch her legs to keep up without needing to break into a trot. "And Arf isn't—"

"Available?" Nanoha remarked, a twist to her lips.

"Suitable," Aria finished. "For the same reasons that she shouldn't be the one to speak with _you _about all this. It's a conflict of interest. You both serve the same master."

The brunette stiffened, biting her lip hard. "A conflict of interest, for her to teach me about living as a familiar? What I can expect from my…" Nanoha sighed, her shoulders slumping. "…life." Her second life. One she hadn't asked for.

One she hadn't wanted.

"Most familiars are glad for a second chance at life," Aria said. Nanoha was pathetically grateful for the neutral, almost school-teacher air that Aria gave off while she spoke. Everything already hurt so much, without more guilt for Nanoha to have to deal with. "But most familiars were animals…beasts. They didn't have a concept of this kind of living before being changed. You did." Aria touched Nanoha's shoulder lightly, just a brush before moving on.

"It's not wrong if you wished that it hadn't happened."

"But it did," Nanoha said quietly. "And I should be grateful."

They were walking along the edge of the waterfront now. Nanoha recognized the place—it was a military hospital, slightly away from the main city to accommodate aircraft and ships that may have to make emergency dockings. For Fate to have held off so many mages and still proceed with her…her plan…Nanoha was awed, and slightly humbled.

She should be grateful.

Grateful that Fate had done so much for her…

"I'm not Arf," Aria told her, her tone falling until she almost sounded harsh. "I'm not Fate or Yuuno. I'm not your friend." The cat-girl inclined her head, the setting sun making her eyes gleam yellow. "You don't need to lie to me."

Nanoha didn't reply.

They stopped by a small look-out spot. Aria walked all the way to the railing, watching the horizon. "A familiar is bound to the life of their master. Some familiars are created under a contract, in which case once the contract is fulfilled the familiar dies."

"Fate didn't do that to me," Nanoha said. She swiped at her eyes, dashing the tears before they formed. "Like she didn't with Arf."

"Yes, that's slightly unusual. It's an altruistic act, to create a familiar without a contract." Aria glanced sideways at Nanoha. "You're a complex, human-like form. That's a hard type of familiar to maintain, especially for a young mage like Fate."

Nanoha flinched at "_type of familiar_". She really had to stop reacting to diction like that. "I can't exactly be any other way. Would it be easier on Fate if…if I was smaller? Like Arf with her puppy form?"

"Probably," Aria answered practically. "But I don't think it'd be good for you. Psychologically, that is. I doubt that Fate would allow it."

"I can choose if I want to do that or not _by myself!_" The outburst surprised both of them. Nanoha whimpered and covered her eyes with one hand. She hated how _angry _she was lately. She didn't like herself this way at all.

"You're not happy that I used the word "_allow_"?" Aria asked softly, her cat's eyes narrowed, one ear flicking. "A familiar is bound to their master. Do you think, that if Fate demanded something of you, that you can refuse?"

"_Can_," Nanoha asked back. "Or _may_?"

Aria smiled, showing a small fang. "You're learning. Do you really want to know the answer?"

No, Nanoha really didn't.

But she had to know. It would break her completely to pieces inside if she had to live never sure of her own choices. Never sure if she was a willing puppet or an unwitting one. "Tell me. Please."

Aria laughed, the sound light and amused. "Who knows?" Her tail lashed as she crossed her arms and looked out over the cliff. Each wave crashing into the rocks made Nanoha flinch. That was her life now—helpless, out of control…she couldn't stop herself from being flung against the sharp, cutting stones over and over again.

"Please, Aria-san."

"Do you remember the Book of Darkness incident?" Aria inhaled, settling against the rail. She didn't wait for Nanoha's affirmation. "Admiral Grahem came up with the plan to imprison a nine-year old girl away in a pocket dimension forever. Abhorrent, wasn't it? Even to Lotte and I, the idea seemed amoral…but we agreed to help. We _wanted _to help. If we had succeeded, it would have been our triumph as well." She turned her head to look at Nanoha. "How much of that was our own choice? How much of it was because it is simply in our nature to agree with our master?"

Nanoha's hands trembled on the rail. "Arf…Arf disobeyed Fate before."

Aria shrugged. "Like I said, Nanoha. Who knows? We familiars can never be _sure._ Our will isn't entirely our own anymore."

_But if my will isn't my own…then who _am _I?_

"One last thing…"

"Yes?"

Nanoha exhaled slowly. She gripped the railing, just to ground herself with the touch.

"What happens to the master…when the familiar dies?"

Aria's eyes flashed, a cat-like luminous glint that vanished when she turned back to look over the water again. Her ears twitched, lying gently back. They let the cold ocean breeze blow over them for a while.

Then Aria answered her.

"Nothing."

Nanoha breathed in deeply, putting her elbows on the railing and hanging over it, scuffing a boot negligently on the ground. She let out a breath, staring at the darkening horizon and smiled wistfully.

"I see."

* * *

_**Author's Note: Fun trivia—I was originally going to end the story with this chapter, but as I still have certain foreshadowed plot-points that I haven't explained yet, and since I had quite a few kind people ask me to continue writing, this will likely go on for a few more chapters ^^. But what fun implications at the end of Chapter 3!**_


	4. Chapter 4

A Familiar Life…

Chapter 4

"I want to see Fate."

Yuuno jerked, spilling water from the flower vase onto the bedside table. Frantically the boy rescued all the get-well-soon cards from the growing puddle, passing them to Nanoha to hold while he opened the drawer. "There's probably a towel here somewhere—"

"_Yuuno-kun._"

He pulled out a towel and laid it on the water to soak. Finally realizing that he wasn't going to succeed in diverting her attention from her demand, he cringed. "…Um, Nanoha—"

"Yes, I'm sure that I want to." She needed to ask Fate…she needed to hear why, from Fate's own mouth. Nanoha needed to see Fate. The longing distracted her from everything else, and even if the emotion was falsely induced Nanoha still wanted to see Fate anyways.

Nanoha tried to believe that she really did.

Thinking about Fate made her think about what Fate had done, which just made Nanoha upset all over again. And being upset made her want to see Fate _more_.

…She really needed to speak with Arf soon about this.

Yuuno looked about to give in when a knock on the door interrupted them.

"Nanoha Takamachi?" A well-dressed man stood in the open doorway, his black suit and official demeanour making Nanoha tense. "Hello—I'm a prosecutor for—"

"Are you here about Fate?" Nanoha cut in.

"Ah, yes," the prosecutor said, conceding to jump past the pleasantries. He walked over and sat in one of the plastic chairs next to Nanoha's bed, putting his tablet on his knees and calling up a file with a flick of his stylus. "I'm here to collect evidence for Fate Testarossa's court trial. The doctors have told me that you are well enough for questioning."

Nanoha sat up fully from her reclined position, letting her pillow slide down behind her back. "What's going to happen to her?"

The man looked pleased at her interest. "The charges for Artificial Mage creation could land her a life-sentence without parole in isolated prison, while the charge of forcing a magical contract on a sentient being is another life-sentence in itself. The necromancy charge isn't as certain as the other two, the punishment being dependent on the method and what other illegal procedures were involved."

"I see." Nanoha nodded.

"Excellent." The prosecutor smiled, calling up a list of questions on his screen. "Let's make this as brief as possible, shall we? Takamachi-san, did Fate Testarossa bind you into the familiar contract against your will?" The man readied his stylus, expecting the answer already.

Nanoha didn't hesitate.

"No."

"Alri—what?" The prosecutor did a double-take, staring at her in surprise. Yuuno was doing the same, although he did a better job of hiding his astonishment. "Ah…Are you sure, Takamachi-san?"

Adamantly, Nanoha said, "Yes, I'm sure."

"You're sure?"

"Yes," repeated Nanoha.

Scrolling through his files, his face screwed up in confusion, the man said, "Um…our reports said that you seemed very distraught when you first—"

She interrupted him again. "That's not true. Fate didn't do anything against my will." Impatiently, Nanoha swung her legs off the side of the bed and rose, walking over to the door with just a small limp in her steps. She glanced back at the prosecutor. "Is that all? I want to go see Fate now."

He seemed to regain his footing, smiling at Nanoha with sympathy in his eyes. "Takamachi-san…you don't need to lie for her." His voice tried to be soothing, but Nanoha wasn't moved at all. "Familiars are free beings by law—indeed, the law is on _your _side if abuse is suspected. You don't have to be afraid to tell us the truth."

"I'm not lying." Nanoha punched the keypad roughly and the door slid open. "Fate didn't force anything on me. We had talked about it before, and I had agreed in case something really did happen to me. That's all." It was odd, how such blatant lying to an official didn't even faze her. Nanoha—the _old _Nanoha—would never have been able to do it. If she was going to disobey, she defied orders openly instead of _lying_.

For Fate, Nanoha would have done anything. Disobeying Lindy's orders had felt right. But now, Nanoha didn't feel any qualms about lying at all.

"So you knew that Fate Testarossa would perform illegal spells ahead of time?" The prosecutor started writing frantically on his screen. "You're saying that her actions were pre-meditated?"

"Creating a familiar isn't illegal," Yuuno said sharply. Nanoha had almost forgotten that he was there—the man surely did, as he gave the blond boy a look of annoyance and surprise. "Even creating a human familiar, as there's nothing in the TSAB Magical Arcana Laws that state that humans are exempt from the "animal" condition of the familiar spell. Even if it was planned ahead of time, there was nothing illegal in what Fate did."

"The cloning spells that Testarossa used were derived from Precia Testarossa's illegal work in Artificial Mage creation," the prosecutor informed him. "From her own testimony, she used them with knowledge of the consequences."

"We're going to dispute that claim," Yuuno countered, his green eyes flashing. "What Fate did was essentially no different than the organ cloning practice in medical—"

"Yuuno-kun!" Nanoha interrupted their technical debate, clutching onto the door frame in a white-knuckled grip. "I want to see Fate-chan now. I'm leaving now, with or without you." She left without another backwards glance—even though she actually didn't know where to go exactly. Maybe her unique state of being would lead her automatically to her master?

Hopefully, she wasn't walking the wrong way…

"Wait, Nanoha!"

She was already half-way down the hall before Yuuno finally caught up with her, grabbing her arm. "Nanoha, wait, please."

"I'm not waiting." Nanoha tried to shake him off. The turmoil inside her kept growing, making Nanoha want to scream or collapse and start crying. "I want to see Fate. I need to see her."

"Nanoha, please," begged Yuuno, coming around to meet her eyes imploringly. "I need to tell you something before you see Fate. It's really important."

_Whew, at least it's not because I was going the wrong direction. _"What?"

He winced, looking around them down the hallway. "Not here—_urk!_"

She had yanked him into the nearby girl's washroom, slamming the door shut and locking it impatiently. "Go on, Yuuno-kun."

"H-here?" Yuuno stammered, looking about to faint from embarrassment.

Nanoha just glared at him, although she couldn't help smiling a bit at how flustered he was. "Just say it already."

Yuuno took a breath, his expression turning grave. "I promised Fate that I wouldn't say a word, but…I have to tell you."

Now Nanoha was keenly interested. "Tell me about what?"

Swallowing, Yuuno walked over to the sinks, bracing himself against the counter. He looked down, as if he couldn't garner the courage to look Nanoha in the eyes as he confessed. "Nanoha…Fate told everyone that she was the only one who did it. That she made you…that she did the ritual all by herself.

"But I can't lie to you, Nanoha." Yuuno lowered his head, his shoulders trembling.

"_I was there too._"

"Yuuno-kun!" Nanoha gasped, a mixture of shock and betrayal slipping into her voice.

He flinched at that, but continued. "I was there too. I helped her, she didn't know what to do exactly, on her own…I helped her with all the ritual steps."

"You helped Fate make me a familiar," Nanoha paraphrased flatly. "Did you help _clone _my brain too?" Her tone grew sarcastic. "Patch up the bits of me that were dead?" She knew that she was being mean, but she couldn't help it—suddenly all the pent-up anger and frustration that she had towards Fate found a new, present outlet, and Nanoha struggled to keep herself from letting loose on poor Yuuno.

Her friend shook his head.

"…So that was just Fate then."

Yuuno shook his head again. "No, Nanoha. Fate didn't clone anything of you. It was all a lie."

"WHAT?" Nanoha yelled, feeling her control slip over her emotions. She grabbed onto Yuuno's shoulders, spinning him around. "What do you mean? What…then how am I alive? _How_?"

Yuuno looked back at her, his green eyes pained. "Fate made you her familiar. In the real way. A magical body created with the mana of the mage…into which the familiar's soul is placed…"

"There's no way Fate could have had enough magic to do…oh." Nanoha dropped her grip on Yuuno. "_You _were the one who supported the barrier, wasn't it?" That explained a lot—Yuuno's skills in support magic were nearly unrivalled by anyone else Nanoha knew. No wonder no one could have stopped Fate…stopped the two of them.

He nodded, confirming her guess.

Nanoha leaned her forehead against the washroom wall, fighting tears of frustration. Having her life flipped on its head after waking up from a fatal accident had already been horrible—having it happen twice? Now that was nearly too much.

So Fate and Yuuno had lied about Fate using cloning spells. That actually made things more logical to Nanoha, as she had been _so_ baffled as to why Fate would have learned illegal cloning spells. Drastically out of character for her shy friend…not to mention that it made no sense that Fate could have done it all in just a few minutes.

At the same time, Nanoha was more confused than ever.

"Yuuno-kun," Nanoha said slowly. "If you guys didn't use illegal spells…then _why_ did Fate say that she _did?_"

* * *

_**Author's Note: Hopefully, this chapter will alleviate some of the questions and concerns over the whole cloning issue! Of course, it only means that there are more questions to be asked… =D**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Just a note, I **_**love **_**long reviews from people, so never apologize for sending me a wall of text to read! ^^**_


	5. Chapter 5: Fate's Interlude

Chapter 5: Fate's interlude

It was silent here.

She could feel the warm, delicate weight of her closest companion in her lap, the shallow breathing lifting the fur up to tickle her fingers before dropping out of reach again—she didn't dare rest her hand on Arf's flank, too worried that she could harm her dear friend somehow.

"Arf," Fate said, stroking the orange wolf's head with one hand. "I finally realized—I really _am_ Mother's daughter."

She couldn't say any of this to anyone else. And normally she wouldn't even dare confide it to Arf, but she knew that Arf's mind was hazy with the lack of mana. Arf probably couldn't hear her at all, with her body shut down to such an extent. Her familiar knew how to conserve mana to great extents.

Her…her _first _familiar.

Her second one still hadn't quite gotten the hang of things yet.

"I understand now. I had tried to understand her before, just so that I can make peace with that part of my life…but now I truly understand."

Fate ran her finger along the curve of Arf's ear, lingering at the tufted tip.

"A person would really do anything…_anything,_ to save the person that she loves."

She felt herself smiling despite the anguish in her chest. So this was how Mother had felt—broken, but laughing. Mad.

"But that's where it's funny, Arf."

Fate wanted to cry.

She wanted to laugh.

"_I_ _succeeded, where Mother had failed._"

In her desperation, Fate had found the key to resurrecting the dead.

It kind of surprised her that no one had thought of it before. That no one had done it before.

She really had out-done her mother in this regard.

"And I didn't even need Al-Hazard to do it."

And just like Mother, Fate had run into the same problem. The same bitter problem that twisted and ate at her insides, until Fate wanted to vomit, wanted to hit something, _hurt _something, just to rid herself a little of the turmoil.

"But it's not right at all. It's not the same."

Fate forgave Mother for hating her. She had already forgiven her mother before, but not like this. Now, Fate _knew._ She understood.

"She's not Nanoha. Not the Nanoha I loved. She's not the same as she was before."

Never—even when Fate had fought her, even when Mother had so hatefully called her a _doll_, a replacement…even then, Nanoha had never given her that _look_. A look of horror, of accusation…a furious look of betrayal and disillusionment. Nanoha had been horrified at what Fate had done to her. And with good reason—Fate had brought Nanoha back _not quite _the same as before.

Fate didn't blame Nanoha for hating her.

_She_ hated herself_._

And in her more shameful moments, Fate hated Nanoha as well. Only for Nanoha, would Fate so willingly and unthinkingly damn herself just to save her—but at what cost? For all of them to live this lie, this lie that was the only thing that could possibly keep Nanoha safe from the enemies her dear, earnest friend was too _good _to recognize…Fate had thrown this penance upon them all.

Fate couldn't hate Nanoha.

She loved Nanoha.

But Fate hated her, she hated that her new familiar had all of Nanoha's thoughts and memories but yet she wasn't like the Nanoha she remembered. Nanoha, forced to live with what Fate had done to her. Nanoha, who would now never be Fate's friend again after Fate had put this _doubt_ into their friendship, a doubt that she would never be free of.

Fate had done this to her.

"Arf…I can never do things right."

She laid her cheek against Arf's small head, feeling her tears soaking into the soft fur.

"I can never make the people I love happy. I keep trying, but I should have learned not to bother by now. Every time I try, Arf, I keep hurting the people I love."

The image of Nanoha's anguished face wouldn't go away whenever Fate closed her eyes.

"I keep…_losing_ the people who I love."

Another tear rolled down her cheek.

"Arf…I'm scared. What if…I'm not different from Mother after all?"

The weak, trembling breaths beneath her cheek as Arf breathed fitfully, the wolf's lidded eyes never stirring, was her only answer.

* * *

_**Author's Note: I've had to explain the same questions to many different people, so I decided to do a FAQ section just so that I don't have to keep repeating myself ^^.**_

_**Thanks to DezoPenguin for betaing my Author's Notes! =P**_

Frequently Asked Questions and Frequently Offered Comments:

_Please note: I am deliberately avoiding commenting on certain really good questions that people have brought up, either because they've already been answered in the previous chapters or because answering them is the _point_ of the subsequent chapters =)._

**Q: Why does Nanoha hate Fate so much? Fate saved her life!**

A: Please read the entire fic to find out =P.

**Q: Aren't the Wolkenritter human familiars as well?**

A: Even in canon/fanon, the status of the Wolkenritter is vague…are they Hayate's familiars, or are they the Tome's familiars? If people have read my other fic "Fealty", you'll see that I used the notion that the Wolkenritter are the Tome's familiars in that story, so that they have been familiars in each of the Tome's incarnations and would have continued to do so, if Hayate hadn't done all her funky stuff with the Tome, etc. However, in "A Familiar Life…", the Wolkenritter's status is a bit more ambiguous, but the TSAB's general consensus is that they're not _normal _familiars (like the Lieze twins, Arf or Linith), so they can't really be used as perfect models for Nanoha's case.

(For further explanation: Quoted from DezoPenguin, who is much better at explaining canon than I am! ^^;;)

"The Wolkenritter are, or at least were, _programs_ of the Tome (indeed, they were actually referred to as the "Guardian Knight Program" on various occasions. Instead of being an independent life form which has a magical contract/bond with an individual mage, they were a sub-element of a complex piece of Lost Logia technology. Thus while they might be considered "analogous" to human familiars, they are definitely governed by different rules and what is true for one may or may not actually apply to the other."

**Q: What's the deal with the cloning spells?**

A: Please see Chapter 4. For those who have read Chapter 4 and still don't get it…basically, Fate made it all up. While there may be bits of accidental truth in her lie, Fate just spun the story to cover up something else. So no, _there are no such cloning spells that could have replicated an entire person in such a short time._ Cloning is still very much a technology-based craft—I just proposed the idea that maybe _minor _cloning _could_ be done through magic spells (idea courtesy of Alavon), but what Fate "admitted" to have done is ridiculous.

In other words, this is what Yuuno thinks of cloning spells – Omake (courtesy of DezoPenguin and deathcurse)

Yunno sweat-dropped. "Uh, Nanoha? Cloning doesn't work that way…"

**Q: Why the heck didn't Yuuno take Nanoha as his familiar, to avoid Fate's issue of trying to maintain two familiars?**

A: Please see Chapter 2. This will also be answered in later chapters.

_EDIT: If I cop out of a potential subplot, the easy explanation (provided by DezoPenguin) is that Yuuno just isn't strong enough to maintain a human familiar compared to Fate (something that is fairly valid in canon once we hit StrikerS, but please have pity on me and consider it the same for A's! ^^;;). _

**Q: Deathcurse, familiars **_**don't work that way…**_

A: Yes, I know. Please believe that I _have _done my research! ^^ (Thanks to all the people who pointed me at the Wikia articles though!) However, I'm choosing to push the boundaries of what canon has told us about familiars in order to write an entertaining story. So while in canon, a familiar's loyalty is either bound by magical contract or offered freely, I'm suggesting to think a little bit further and ask, "Are those _really _the only two choices? What if there's more going on here—that familiars are also bound _emotionally _or _mentally _to their masters?" Of course, there's nothing in canon to say that my speculation is correct—but at the same time, I'm not actually contradicted by anything in canon either. Since none of the familiars in the series have actually questioned that fact, we don't actually know!

Questioning that fact is, of course, what Nanoha will be doing in this fic. Whether or not she will be successful in answering the question is the point of _reading _the fic =P.

_EDIT: I will likely be rewriting Chapter 3 sometime, to hopefully clarify this point further. After dozens of PM's, Dezo's finally knocked into my head that I need to express my points more clearly during Nanoha and Aria's conversation! ^_^;;_

**Q: Why use Aria in Chapter 3? Aria is EVIL!**

A: …..because Aria is awesome in her cool, collected manner, she's got a kick-ass uniform and because she's a canon familiar who isn't Arf (conflict of interest and nearly comatose), a Wolkenritter ("abnormal" familiars) or Linith (dead). I didn't want to create an OC just for this role. Oh, and simply because I just like her, is all ^_^.

**Q: Why. Did. Fate. **_**Lie**_**?**

A: Now, did you really think that I'd answer that question here? ***EVIL LAUGH*** ^_-


	6. Chapter 6

A Familiar Life…

Chapter 6

Walking felt different now.

Quite odd, really. Other than The Accident, Nanoha had never been injured so badly that she couldn't do such a basic motion. Maybe Hayate would know better if walking could really come across as a drastic change?

No, really, Nanoha knew better. She had encountered this before, after hearing the news that her father had woken up from his coma. Suddenly, taking a step felt like a skip and walking felt like a dance—the realization that she didn't have to _think_ so hard to motivate herself to move at all. Before, just moving, breathing, _feeling, _had been such an effort, such a trial; now Nanoha wanted to laugh at how easy it all seemed.

But she didn't quite get that far. While the sense that weights had been taken off her ankles and shoulders cheered her up despite everything, Nanoha still couldn't help the fact that her thoughts were turned inwards, as she mulled over the information that had changed her thinking.

She hoped that Yuuno wasn't mad that she told him she wanted to see Fate alone. He looked far older than he was when he had nodded wordlessly, understanding her reasons why even though she hadn't said them aloud. Nanoha was glad that he hadn't asked her any questions—with her resolve as indecisive as it was, she just might have chickened out of speaking to Fate (again), after hearing what Yuuno had told her.

Nanoha needed more time to think. She needed to ask Fate herself. She wanted to forget it all, to lose her fears in ignorance.

She wanted to be by Fate. And the fact that Yuuno couldn't answer her as to whether or not that separation anxiety was real or just in her head didn't help matters.

If legally, she wasn't much different than anyone else, what did that mean about her new status as a familiar? Was Nanoha just being oversensitive, to _care _so much about not being human anymore?

"Takamachi Nanoha, to visit Fate Testarossa," She announced to the officer standing outside of Fate's door. For some reason, the man stared at her as if she had said something funny. Confused, Nanoha tried smiling at him, but all that seemed to do was unnerve him more.

"Um, sir…is there something wrong?"

"No…" the officer said slowly, looking quite befuddled himself. He checked a holoscreen for his instructions, and shrugged his shoulders, clearly finding no reason to refuse her request. "Very well, please go ahead."

"Thank you," Nanoha replied politely as he opened the door for her.

The lack of announcement allowed Nanoha to catch that instant of relief and affection that flared in Fate's eyes before her friend turned her gaze downwards, her shoulders slumping into a beaten cringe.

"N…Nanoha…"

Her throat suddenly choked up, so Nanoha just nodded in response, although it was silly since Fate wasn't looking at her. Without thinking, Nanoha walked over, halting by the bed rail as a sudden rush of hesitation drained the strength from her trembling legs.

An awkward silence fell.

"…How's Arf-san doing?"

Fate's hand shook as she stroked Arf's back gently, brushing the curve of the sleeping familiar's spine. "Not very well. But better, a little."

"That's great," Nanoha said, waiting for Fate to look at her.

The blonde didn't.

Letting out a grunt, Nanoha grabbed the rail with both hands. Finally Fate did look up, puzzled at what she was doing. Nanoha turned a small smile Fate's way as she climbed over the rail and sat on the bed, her thigh snuggled up to Fate's suddenly tense blanket-clad leg.

"Nanoha?" Fate asked, bewildered and faintly shocked.

"Finally, you're looking at me," Nanoha chided lightly, a bit shy at how shaky her voice was.

Maybe Fate wasn't the only one who was nervous about how her friend would now react to her. It wasn't as simple as friends seeing each other again—something so fundamental about them had changed.

Fate blushed, as Nanoha had expected her to, but she didn't seem to be able to look away like she did before. The other girl bit her lip, her red eyes wavering as she stared into Nanoha's.

"…_I'm sorry_."

"Why are you sorry?"

Fate blinked, her eyes wide. "W…_why?_"

Nanoha nodded firmly. "Why are you sorry?" She repeated doggedly, putting her chin on her knees and watching Fate closely.

"I…" Fate started, then stopped. After opening and closing her mouth a few times, Fate clutched Arf closer to her chest, giving Nanoha a pleading glance.

Nanoha held firm for a few seconds, but sighed and conceded. "Tell me some other time then."

She saw that same baffled look in Fate's eyes, but also a hint of sheepish guilt. Oh yes, they both knew what Nanoha had been trying to get at. But now might not be a good time, with both of them still not quite sure how to deal with their _own _issues. It might be better for Nanoha to wait before trying to tackle _Fate's_.

"Are you okay?" Nanoha asked, putting a hand on Fate's knee, concerned. A twitch jerked through Fate's leg at the touch.

"I'm okay," was the quiet reply.

"The guards aren't bothering you, are they?" Nanoha questioned anxiously.

Fate shook her head, but she probably would have done that even if they were.

"Is Lindy-san going to take you home once you get better?"

Fate shook her head again. Then she paused, tilting her head to the side to consider something. "Actually," she amended, "It depends on if the indictment is approved."

"What?" Nanoha cried out, surprised at how angry she was. From the startled expression on Fate's face, she wasn't the only one surprised. "Why! I told them that it wasn't your fault!"

A tired droop entered Fate's features, and the blonde lowered her head. "That was kind of you to say, Nanoha…but it doesn't change what I did. And besides," she tried to inject some optimism into her voice, but clearly fell flat, "Lindy and Chrono are doing their best to help, so it might not go through."

"I can't just watch them lock you up!" Nanoha grabbed Fate's wrist. "It's not fair…" She breathed in sharply, staring at Fate with determined eyes. "We'll run. You, me, and Arf…we'll take care of—each other."

Nanoha would die before she let anyone hurt Fate. She'd _kill _anyone who tried…Arf would be the same, if the wolf was in the same state as Nanoha. But since Arf was indisposed, it was up to Nanoha to handle things. They could go back to Earth—being an Unadministered world, the TSAB would have a harder time finding jurisdiction there. But they'd be easier to find—maybe a world more populated with mages, to disguise their presence?

"We can get Yuuno to help us—" She pulled on Fate's arm, blinking in surprise when Fate stiffened, resisting her.

"No, Nanoha, we can't do that." Fate shook her head gravely, looking down at her lap. "I won't let all of you get in trouble like that…besides, Lindy said that she's pretty confident that they can beat the charges. If I run away it'll ruin everything."

"You didn't see the prosecutor," Nanoha said darkly. "They really want to get you! I can't just let it happen…I don't want anything to happen to you, Fate-chan."

A mixed expression flashed over Fate's face at those words, and Nanoha's grip tightened in reaction.

"Stop thinking it! I'm not doing this because of…because of what we are to each other now. I'm your _friend!_" Nanoha took hold of Fate's other hand, in a gentler grip this time. "I didn't give up on you before, right? I was… I _am _always, always on your side."

Fate's fingers clasped Nanoha's in a trembling, strong squeeze. "Nanoha…"

They stared at each other, and Nanoha could see a rising vitality in Fate's dull red eyes, a desperate boldness and energy that matched Nanoha's. That relieved Nanoha greatly; she hadn't been able to stand the lonely depression that had been in her friend's eyes before. Neither of them breathed—if one of them had even twitched at that moment, Nanoha wasn't sure what they would have done. Never before had such emotion and threat of violence coursed through Nanoha's blood; if anyone had tried to separate them Nanoha would—

The door hissed open.

"Fate-chan!" Hayate's wheelchair whirred as she steered herself through the doorway. "I heard from—Nanoha-chan? You're here too?" Delighted, Hayate zoomed to the bed and threw her arms around Nanoha without braking first, causing Fate's bed to rock as Hayate's chair slammed into the arm rails. Hayate hugged Nanoha tightly then drew back, her eyes bright. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

Nanoha managed a twisted smile, feeling her heart rate dropping back to normal as Hayate's hug cleared her head. "Yeah. Okay." With Hayate in the room her previous urgency felt childish, and the unsettling rush of emotion had made Nanoha's reply a bit snippier than she had intended.

Hayate winced then flushed, tapping her fingers together abashedly. "Sorry…but I'm glad that you're alive. It wasn't so…sure…the last time I saw you."

Ashamed now, Nanoha hugged Hayate again, and Hayate smiled, understanding the silent apology.

"Shamal told me that…er…" Hayate fumbled for words, her attentive gaze noticing the odd distance between Nanoha and Fate despite their physical proximity. "She told me that both of you are going through a rather rough time. So," she continued, leaning over to grab Fate and Nanoha's hands, finally having enough strength in her legs and core to be able to balance that way. "I just wanted to make sure that you two knew that all your friends and family are here for you. We're all on your side, for anything you need."

"Thanks, Hayate-chan," Nanoha told her. Reaching over, Nanoha grasped Fate's free hand. "We're all in this together, right, Fate-chan?"

A range of emotions crossed Fate's face: denial, confusion, hope, then finally a small, spreading smile. "Yes," Fate said softly, that deadened spark in her eyes growing even more and transforming her from that girl with the sad eyes to the friend that Nanoha remembered. "Together."

Hayate beamed, her eyes teary; she and Nanoha exchanged a quick relieved look. Hayate half-hauled herself out of her chair and pulled Fate into a tight hug around the shoulders, so that they would avoid squashing Arf in Fate's lap. Nanoha chuckled softly and joined in the hug, resting her cheek against her best friends' heads.

She was still scared and uncertain. But being scared with friends made things less complicated, in a very good way.

And she was still _Nanoha_, right? By this time, wouldn't she have noticed if she was…any different than the person she used to be? Like any Takamachi, Nanoha would work it all out in the end—no matter how painful it was going to be.

_We'll work it through together, Fate-chan._

"Oh yeah, Nanoha-chan," Hayate said, smacking her forehead sheepishly as she suddenly remembered something. "I forgot to mention that someone's here to visit you—someone who, well, might have some answers to the questions that you may have."

"Someone?" echoed Nanoha, feeling her heart pounding faster. Faster, due to her own anticipation or dread…or Fate's?

* * *

**Important Author's Note:**_** The long delay between updating for this fic isn't just from my distracted writing of many fics at the same time, but also because I have been editing the previous chapters due to the feedback I've gotten from all your reviews! ^_^**_

**Because of this, Chapter 3 will be rewritten, and parts of that rewrite will stretch into Chapter 7 as well. Hopefully it'll be smooth sailing after that!**

_**I had hoped to finish the rewrites by the time I post this chapter, but since it's taking me a bit longer than anticipated (new information from Nanoha canon, as well as school ^^;;), I decided to keep editing later and update first!**_

_**Thanks to the Animesuki folk for pointing out moments in my first draft that…didn't get across the emotion that I had intended ^^;;. Hopefully it should flow the way I imagined now!**_


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